Sitting on the bar stool, smoking his eighth cigarette, Rishaan stopped counting his drinks. ‘Is this the sixth?’ he asked himself. ‘No, this should be the seventh…..’ ‘Was not that the fifth I was having with the last cigarette, so this should be the sixth…’ The questions kept pounding his head. Not that the numbers mattered. Not that anything mattered. Not now, when there is no turning back…
He knew this was coming. He realized this was one evening he had been dreading for the last nineteen years. He could perfectly re-run the script any time, the course he had imagined it would take, for all of the last nineteen years. His worst fear came true ten days back, exactly at this hour, when Maya called. He bitterly rued his naivete when he let Maya go nineteen years back with a bagful of used notes for five lac rupees. He had then assumed that the ghost will not return. It has, now. He had then believed Maya when she promised that she would never return to his life, the trade-off being loads of money in exchange for Kiara. That was the barter they both agreed on, not long after Maya disclosed that she was pregnant with Rishaan’s child.
Rishaan was aghast then on hearing the bombshell explode. “Pregnant?” Rishaan tried to sound surprised but deep inside he felt no surprise, only an inescapable sensation of nausea.
“Yes,” was Maya’s stoic monosyllable.
“But…but, how is it possible Maya?” Rishaan was desperate. “I took all the precautions and you know that”. As if the precautions taken would wipe away with a single stroke all the consequences and the responsibilities that come with the consequences.
Maya didn’t answer. The first feeling she experienced was one of relief that Rishaan did not raise any doubt on who the parent could be, of the bundle of budding life inside her womb. She didn’t really suspect that Rishaan would run away like a coward, though, in all truth, she admitted that relief is what she felt when Rishaan was hee-hawing on the ‘precautions’ taken rather than dwell on how it could not be him and that Maya was mistaken. ‘Precautions….’ she could not help chuckle, ‘passion, ring-fenced by precautions….’
“Know what Rishaan?” she asked. “Despite the best laid plans, things have a funny way of taking its own course, especially in one-night stand-offs”.
They both kept silent for a while. The coffee pots were turning cold. ‘What next’, was the thought that was occupying both. They knew the options were limited. None of them promising or palatable. But the accountant in Rishaan soon took charge. He did some quick mental math on what this mess could entail financially and psychologically. He quickly decided on what needed to be done and then spluttered out, “ Look, Maya. There is a way out of this…”
Maya was half-expecting what was coming. Even though their relationship was only two months old, she could strip Rishaan mentally and see thro Sitting on the bar stool, smoking his eighth cigarette, Rishaan stopped counting his drinks. ‘Is this the sixth?’ he asked himself. ‘No, this should be the seventh…..’ ‘Was not that the fifth I was having with the last cigarette, so this should be the sixth…’ The questions kept pounding his head. Not that the numbers mattered. Not that anything mattered. Not now, when there is no turning back…
He knew this was coming. He realized this was one evening he had been dreading for the last nineteen years. He could perfectly re-run the script any time, the course he had imagined it would take, for all of the last nineteen years. His worst fear came true ten days back, exactly at this hour, when Maya called. He bitterly rued his naivete when he let Maya go nineteen years back with a bagful of used notes for five lac rupees. He had then assumed that the ghost will not return. It has, now. He had then believed Maya when she promised that she would never return to his life, the trade-off being loads of money in exchange for Kiara. That was the barter they both agreed on, not long after Maya disclosed that she was pregnant with Rishaan’s child.
Rishaan was aghast then on hearing the bombshell explode. “Pregnant?” Rishaan tried to sound surprised but deep inside h ugh what was behind the veneer.
“I am listening”, she said.
“Look Maya, I love you. More than what you could imagine. I love you and our sweet little bundle of joy inside you. But a way has to be found for this. You have always wanted to pursue that exciting career in advertising in Goa in that little start-up you have planned, haven’t you, Maya? We can work that out. To our mutual convenience and good. How about five lacs? That should take care of your aspirations…”
“And your guilt and your impending marriage as well….” Maya could not help interject.
Rishaan shrugged helplessly. “Come on, Maya. What guilt you are talking about? It is all for our well-being and peace of mind, can’t you see? After all, there is a thing called reality. I take care of you till the delivery of the child. And after you recover, you are free to forget everything, like it was a horrible nightmare and go after the things you always loved”
“Like advertising?” Maya sarcastically asked. Rishaan did not spot the sarcasm or pretended not to.
“Exactly! Like advertising”.
“And what do you plan to do with the baby?”
“I shall take care of that too. I can pull a few strings and arrange to bring her up in the best possible way, in a children’s home, all expenses paid by me”.
‘So neat,’ Maya thought. ‘That is the Rishaan I always knew. So meticulous and perfect’. She suddenly felt like throwing up. A momentary flash of indignation overwhelmed her. She felt like slapping Rishaan, one hard, full-palmed slap. But then she bit her lips and began thinking fast. She had the honesty to admit that a baby or marriage with Rishaan was the last thing she wanted. Yes, she really still nurtured that little dream of hers, to become something in the advertising world. She took a deep breath. Now things seemed a little okay. Five lacs was too large a sum to be traded off with some foolish sentiment.
“I accept the offer”, she said. Rishaan heaved a sigh of relief. He always believed in the power of money. Now is the time to demand his pound of flesh.
“There is, though, a small condition….er… request, Maya’, he said. “you are to sever all links with me henceforth. You shall never ever try to establish any contact with me or the child. On my part, I promise that the child will be well taken care of.” Maya agreed.
That was the last he saw of Maya. He admired himself on the felicity with which he disposed off the crisis. After all, his CA & MBA upbringing did not fail him. This episode was just another case study for which he had a ready and convincing solution. As the years rolled by, he kept keeping tab intermittently on what Maya was up to. Looked like she did, after all, found her calling in the glitzy, glamorous world of advertising. She co-founded a firm in Goa which was, well, doing quite decently. ‘What was the last campaign they did? For that baby food?’ he tried to recollect, could not, and brushed it aside as irrelevant. As long as Maya and her baby food did not land at his door, as long as they kept a safe distance, he could not care two hoots. On his part, he felt an odd sense of pride in having kept his word by providing for the child, Kiara, in a high-end children’s home. Kiara! What a beautiful woman she has grown up into! Her brown eyes and the sexy pout always reminded him of Maya. And what a stroke of luck that Kiara got to grow up in his house-hold! God schemes to give good things to good schemers, he thought, reminiscing about how it all happened…..
It was not until he was married to Diya for two years that he realized that she could not conceive because of a medical condition. Which might or might not reverse, but chances are minimal. The doctors suggested adoption. Diya was heart-broken on hearing the news. She loved Rishaan so much that she could not reconcile to the guilt of not being able to bear his children. On his part, Rishaan too loved Diya. More than her, the money she brought along with the marriage appealed to him more. When the subject of adoption came up, he deftly and casually mentioned of a little, beautiful girl in a children’s home he knew of. How did he know? Of course, he knew because the kid is the child of a man he once worked with. The parents died in an accident, how sad! Would Diya care to see the child and then they can decide? No rushing here, Diya, if you feel like bringing her home, maybe I can pull a few strings, cut the paper-work and bring the kid home with minimum fuss. Diya saw the girl, was immediately besotted with her charm and Kiara found her way into her father’s home. All things nicely sewn up and Rishaan was happy. A loaded trophy wife, a doting daughter and a thriving practice….
….Rishaan was momentarily woken up from his reverie by the bartender. “Sir, one more? Frankly I think you have had enough. Shall I call for a cab, Sir?’’
“No James, please, one more. Make it small, okay?” James sighed and turned back to fetch the single malt.
‘How could I have been so foolish to trust the bitch?’ Rishaan cursed himself. ‘But what could I have done otherwise? There was always the risk of blackmail’. As he was asking himself the question, he decided that this time he would ensure that there would be no comebacks. He shuddered to even think of what he was plotting. But the liquor inside him started making plans on its own. ‘I would think about it tomorrow when I am sober’, he dismissed the thoughts that swirled inside his head. ‘For the present, there is a flight to catch tomorrow. As ordered by the bitch’.
His mind turned to the phone call he received ten days back. He was attending a national conference of Chartered Accountants in Delhi. The caller ID showed an unknown number. He ignored the call. Fifty seconds later, the message followed.
MY DOLL RISHAAN, MIND CALLING ME BACK?
It was like a 25000 volt shock. MY DOLL! Only one soul on earth used to call him that. Maya! He nearly had a heart attack. His immediate instinct was to ignore the message but it became impossible for him to concentrate on what was going on in the meeting. He excused himself and half-ran to the lobby of the hotel. With trembling fingers, he called the number.
“Maya?”
“How sweet of you to remember, Doll”
“Don’t call me that”
“But that’s what you loved about me most, Rishaan, callng you Doll!” she mockingly protested.
“What do you want now Maya? I thought it was understood that no more one contacting the other till life?”
“One first and last time, Rishaan, please. I cannot bear to go to the grave without seeing our child. I don’t want any money, Rishaan, lest you think this is something of a black mail. I do well enough in life, nowadays. Heard of Mayajal Media? Well, I happen to co-head that. I know you have kept your word, in fact, more than what you promised. That was very considerate of you to bring Kiara into your home, into your life….Don’t interrupt Rishaan…. We all know what’s happening in the world around us, don’t we?”
“What do you want, Maya?”
She told him again. Just seeing Kiara once and spending a quiet hour with her. No, she would not tell her what should not be told. Just idle chatting, you know, between mother and child! How the meeting is arranged and what plot Rishaan would conceive to set up this meeting is his headache. No, she would not take no for an answer. What if Rishaan said no? That is irrelevant, since she knew there would be only ‘Yes’ to her request. ‘The bitch, so confident,’ Rishaan thought. No, my doll, this is not blackmail. This is just a simple request from a long-lost love, wouldn’t Rishaan please say yes?
He said yes. He had no option. At least, for the present. Strangely, convincing Diya and Kiara about the pressing need for them to take a vacation to Goa (they have not gone on one for the last three years, have they?) was pretty easy. And here they were, on the flight to Dabolim that would help connect long-lost people one last time. At least that is what Rishaan hoped, one last time.
The 90 minute flight was not easy for any of them. For each was pre-occupied with how the reaction would be, when each of them did what they had planned to do after landing in Goa.
Like Rishaan, planning to get over the meeting as quickly as possible, with Maya. And then meet the local real estate big-shot there (who helped him seal a few deals years ago with abundant mutual gains) who had promised that what Rishaan asked for could be arranged for a tidy fee. And there would be no more calls from the owner of the number, Rishaan can rest assured. The number would be gone from his life, so would its owner…….
Like Diya, planning to break the lovely news of her conceiving. The gynecologist had assured her that bearing a child at 42 is perfectly normal and would cause no harm to the mother and the child. Diya had wanted to break the news at Delhi itself but since they were anyway planning on this lovely trip to Goa, it would be perfect to share the sweet tidings in a second honeymoon ambience. Diya was too excited and nervous in the flight that she wondered if Rishaan would find anything amiss in her behaviour….
Like Kiara, who, after much thought, planned to break the news to her parents that she is pregnant, that there is nothing to be worried or alarmed about, that she plans to marry the boy, that the boy’s parents have said yes, that she has been going steady with the boy for two years, that he is Senior Vice President or whatever in a top advertising firm called Mayajal Media, that he is well settled in life…..
In the middle of the flight, Kiara woke up to go to the washroom. When she returned, she was too lazy to push her way into the middle seat. And with Rishaan readily offering to shift seats, the seating arrangement changed. With 20 minutes still remaining for the flight to land, a sleep starved Kiara took another power nap, this time holding Rishaan's right hand more firmly. Rishaan's other hand, though, nervously moved to touch Diya's. Her heart skipped a beat. Diya pulled her hand away. But a defiant Rishaan held her wrist again, this time firmly and more reassuringly. The changing behavioral dynamics between the three perhaps gave out a foreboding of what was to come in Goa.
When the flight landed at the Dabolim Airport, Rishaan felt uncanny...his excitement seemed replaced by an unknown fear that he found very difficult to decipher. The plane had just touched down and……what the hell……why it is not slowing down?…Oh, my God….why are the tyres not screeching and braking?.....the airport building was whizzing past….smoke was billowing from the underbelly…..cries and shrieks everywhere……What on earth was happening?....he clutched Diya’s & Kiara’s hands with his own trembling hands….was the plane raising again?.......is it overshooting the runway?…..an eerie terror of impending death gripped him…….the last he remembered seeing was the left wing of the aircraft clipping the tree top… and then there was a black, a deathly void of black he was plunging into at breakneck speed and then he remembered nothing…….. Not even his best-laid plans.
